New Beginnings

This week marked the first week of my MAT year! I worked with all of the other wonderful interns in my cohort as camp counselors this week for a Gear Up camp put on by Quantum Learning. The kids who we worked with came from four Prince George's County high schools. They all have shown promise in their schooling; however, when they get to that point they will be first generation college students. Therefore, we all came together to work with them on study skills, and interpersonal skills so they will have all of the necessary tools to make it after high school.

Before we go any further I would like to give everyone some background on how things have been going in my life for the past few months. Let's start back at the end of April...I had finished writing my SMP (St. Mary's  Project, thing undergraduate thesis) and sent it to my adviser. I had a pretty solid powerpoint and scripted speech to present on May 2nd to the entire history department, my friends, and my family. When, as stories go, May 1st rolled around and my hardrive crashed. I had my SMP backed up, but not my powerpoint and script. Needless to say I was a mess. Then on the way to Annapolis to have my hardrive replaced a rock flew up, hit my windshield, and cracked it. Margaret was in the car with me and I hate to say it, but saw me at my absolute lowest. But she was a trooper and kept me sane.

All in all the presentation went well. YAY! But that whole experience put me in such a funk.

Gala was wonderful. I got to see several tipsy professors, always a fun thing. Graduation came and went. The moment everyone looks forward to I approached with lots of apprehension. This whole year I have been comforted by the fact that I would be back on campus. I didn't have to worry like everyone else about impending adulthood. And then the world fell on me all at once. My. God. I'm really here. I had been talking about getting a Masters since High School when I found out I would be going here. But now it was a reality. My five year plan was complete. After this, I'm done.

My mine was on rapid crazy chaotic mode. Where do I go from here? I hadn't had to think about the future, and I had finally put on the shoes that I was so grateful I didn't have to worry about my senior year of college.

This pressure haunted me for the six weeks that I was home. I began to look into PhD programs and look inside me to figure out what in the world I wanted out of my life. Where do I want to be by the time I'm 30? 50? 100?

I'm a worrier. And I think I had perfected the art by the time I got here at the end of June. I was so concerned that this program was going to start and I was going to realize that I really hated the one thing I have ever wanted to do with my life, teaching. But I can say without a doubt after this camp that I know I am working towards everything that I want and need out of my life.

Do to the length of this post I'm going to put the rest of my week with the camp in another post.....more to come soon!